Squarepants Saves
Online Games & the Meaning of Life
Are you able to envision what it must have been like to have lived in the 1800’s? I can’t. I mean, I really attempt it… But then a sickening feeling begins to throb at the back of my skull and I’m immediately propelled back into 2008. Hooray—modern times! The times of Britney Spears, Fast Food, Eddie Izzard, Gears of War, Spongebob Squarepants, and George W. Bush. Now that’s what I call living!
Now wait just a cotton-picking minute! People had amazing things in the 1800’s as well right? Of course they did! -Lots of great things! Like… Butter churns, and… Funny hats… And, uh, those really neat sticks that have a head of a horse on them. Know what I mean? Those horse-head sticks that you could put between your legs and shout “Giddie up!” as you stomped about back yard. They had those things! Those were fun right?
Okay really, it’s time to face it. I’m sorry, but people back then didn’t have squat. They didn’t even have electricity. How sad is that? Even if you were to go back in time, and hand them a brand new Playstation 3… They could not even play the stupid thing. They would have had to use it as a display base for their paper dolls or something. Did they have paper dolls? Did they have paper? Or did they have to cut their paper dolls out of leaves? I can’t think about it anymore. I’m getting that sickening feeling again.
Now, just think about what we have. -Not just in terms of basic things like indoor plumbing. But instead, really cool, live-saving things like ipods and HBO. Who could really live without an ipod and HBO? Well, perhaps some savages in Borneo or something, but not anyone of any real breading. And who could forget television, microwaves, Hot Pockets, and The Allman Brothers, -just a few more of the many things that technology has brought to us.
And what do you believe would be the best thing? Here’s a hint. It’s not the heart-lung machine. (But that’s good too I suppose.)
The best thing, in the history of the planet, is online games.
Online games baby. Think about it. Technology goes along, and makes this thing called paper, which allows for the sum of all knowledge to be recorded for our future generations. And folks like you and I come along and say- “Yeah, that’s nice, but can we play games on it?” And POOF, just like that, Tic Tac Toe is born. But then along comes the Television. –A devise that brings information across the nation in an instant! And people like you and I say ‘Yeah, but can we play games on it?’ And BANG, just like that, Sonic the Hedgehog is born.
And today, we have the computer. -The ultimate piece of machinery to increase the productivity of workers for generations to come. But guess what. Oh yeah baby… You can play games on it! And not just “Hey-I-gotta-sell-my-kidney-to-affored-this-damn-thing” kinda games. But real, honest to god, gaming masterpieces which can be downloaded to your work computer for FREE! (That’s not a typo. Many of these games are FREE.)
When you’re finished reading this article, take a look at a site like Jenkatgames dot com. Now here is a site that is filled with free downloadable games. Games that are so good, that I guarantee you’ll miss out on that big promotion from playing them so much. Take a look at the game “Finder’s Keepers”. This game is, without a doubt, one of the best I’ve ever played. I’ve never said the phrase “Just ten more minutes”. more times, than when I’m playing Finder’s Keepers.
And other games like ‘Go-Go Gourmet’ or “Great Secrets: Da Vinci” are just as amazing. I think that people owe it to themselves to avail themselves to the greatest accomplishment of our generation. Online games. It’s not a horse-stick or a heart-lung machine or anything. –But it’s gotta be a close second.
About the Author
Lance Hemenway has been writing about games like Fresh Air Solitaire for major web publications since 1997. Click here for more downloadable games and free online games.
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